Today was a hard day...
I felt a bit crappy, but still okay. Sometimes I feel so lonely and I can do nothing against it, so this evening is like that...
And I wish that here would be a person, who understands me, supports me everytime.. but that is maybe not so "special" wish.. it's quite stereotypic wish, maybe. But still...
Today I didn't go to school, but went to the polyclinic. Some days ago I had to do the fluorography. But the were some problems with that photography, so everything should be redone.. And today I had to do roentgenogram.
That was not really scary or something, but still I am a bit tired of visiting the doctors...I really don't like this -.-
But I think that nobody likes visiting the doctors :D so it's okay :)
Here are some things that I never forget and forgive...
At first, it's of course hypocrisy. Once all of us had this sad experience. I think that everyone was once betrayed in his/her life. So I know how it is shitty and hurtful... Maybe this is the only thing that I really can't forgive.. to be betrayed.
Second, I guess that it's not so hard case as the previous one ;) but still I don't like very much when people don't keep their promises. As for me, if I promised something I try to do my best and keep this promise anyway.
Third, it's of course lie. None likes when someone lies. Anyway the person get to know the truth sooner or later. And this truth isn't so bitter when you tell it in time... Because of lie the trust could be gone...
Hmm... maybe for me there is no more "unforgivable things" I think ;)
Something about last summer....
I was then in the Crimea... that's a beautiful place with awesome landscapes :)
I walked in the mountains with my parents almost every evening and that was great... I miss that time, really. That was also the good time for thinking about some things.. then I understood one very important thing for me.
I hope to go there again...
Last night of my feeling
So catch the moment
For you I'd give my everything
Now there is only one second...
I'll do all that you want
But the heart wishes to be loved
Give me this death, so slow and long
Make my soul be reborn
I need you
You know it's true
Give me one more life
To live this one night
Night hides the lust
I love, but could I trust?
God, please, give me one more day
To make my own way
Adoring heart prays for
You and your soul
I'll feel for you forevermore
Our time isn't gone...
To love and go
To hate and stay
What is life for?
Just give me one more day...
Flying away from all lies
Lying on cold ice
My hope was still for you
My dream of you
(Forever you)
What do we live for?
What is the sense to give forever more
To be lost in time
In those cold moments of night
But warmth of the blood
That whisper so hot
Drink this red wine -
The blood of mine
Spend this last night
With me in the dark
Help me to hide
Give me one more path
The night of the lust
Last flash of the trust
All believing burning to dust
You've cut me deep
You've left my tears
The only heard my weep
My soul will bleed for years...
The day was almost perfect :) My friend took some photos of me, here are two of them ;)
I was at school, there was not very much work today... thanks God.
But one thing actually disturbs me... but maybe it's not so important. I have no ideas for poetry :( totally nothing...sometimes I want to write something..hmm.. special, new.. but every thought turns to the previous one... again that's lyrics about love, suffering, pain, tears etc.
But this is only that I really feel...
Once dreaming of cure
For the heart of a pure
That's all what I need
To see and to feel
Your tears within
One dream of my own
It almost was gone
All fears are silently drawn
Deep in my memory
But this love still lives in me
Your word could kill
Deep fear, old thrill
One look could heal
The wound keeps the pain, I feel...
All I need it's to feel again
Your touch, your kiss
You are the one who eases my pain
Should I tell you this?
Just tell me if it has no sense
All tryings were vain...
No hatred dwells
In my soul lives love again
Here is some lyrics written by me.
If you're interested in such things so check it out! ;)
