One more poem

I'm sorry for not writing for a such long time... 

I had a lot to do and I had not so much time. Today I wrote a new poem, so check it out! :)

The same dream

Still lies within...

Long path leading

To the dark forest, where am I going?

Heart is still bleeding

Do you see moonlight, do you hear this howling?

Is this only beginning?

How to escape this falling?

Some invisible power

Moves me ahead

The whole life is like flower

One day alive, another you're dead

The day of light

Only dream of flight

Every day just fades away

Your part I will play

What could I endure

To you, my dear?

The only I have the heart of pure

I beg you, stay near

The path goes on

Still leading astray

Suffering from lovelorn

You always give me right way

The one who will never be gone

(The one whom I pray for)

Desire will fade away 

But not now

Deep feeling made you stay 

For love...

My path goes on 

Still leading astray 

Suffering from lovelorn

You always give me right way

The one who will never be gone

(You are the one whom I pray for)

For you I bleed

This time I need

To get who I am

You make me cry

For your embrace

Keep asking why

It faded in days

I pray for last hour of day

Of my deepest pain

I beg you to heal the wound

My life belongs now to you 

The Vampire Diaries

Hi again! 

Not so long time ago I began watching one serial called "The vampire diaries".

I like it so much that when I have some free time I watch this film. 

It's very interesting and I recommend it to everyone who likes such stories about vampires and of course love-stories ;)

For you

For last time I will pray

You were here 

But not so far away

It's not a farewell, dear

So many times 

I could say goodbye

And go across all lines

Leaving everything by

Last prayer for this night

and all will pass by

No light, so bright and white

I won't say you goodbye

I could stay

I could fly away

My dear, I'll pray

You brought me to your world

So now take care

Never break the heart, never hurt

Be my eternal saviour

Last prayer for this night

And all will pass by 

No light, so bright and white

I won't say you goodbye

I will stay

With you

Never fly away 

Because I feel for you

My dear, I'll pray

For you...

Take my hand 

Look in my eyes

Is it so hard to understand?

You make my sun rise

Last prayer for this night

And all will pass by

No light, so sparkle and bright

I won't say you goodbye

All tears fly away

You make me stay

Forever for you I'll pray

Flower weekends ;)

Day of poetry...

Shitty feeling follows me all day long. The only way to escape all problems was to press the button "play" on my mp3-player and begin writing a new poem... :)

This is my method of relaxation, sometimes it really helps. But there are some moments when even such method is hopelessly useless... 

I came home earlier today because of a few things. So I have enough time to write something ..hmm.. special, I don't know. I read my old poems and I understood that there is a lack of something, but if I knew what exactly.

But I try to write exactly what I feel, to express all feelings that lie within my heart. Maybe it's not enough... I don't know how I could express all that I feel much ..hm.. brighter, I have no idea now.. 

Also today I read some sonnets by William Shakespeare, and I love one sonnet so much. Here it is:

Sonnet 150


O! from what power hast thou this powerful might,
With insufficiency my heart to sway?
To make me give the lie to my true sight,
And swear that brightness doth not grace the day?
Whence hast thou this becoming of things ill,
That in the very refuse of thy deeds
There is such strength and warrantise of skill,
That, in my mind, thy worst all best exceeds?
Who taught thee how to make me love thee more,
The more I hear and see just cause of hate?
O! though I love what others do abhor,
With others thou shouldst not abhor my state:
If thy unworthiness rais'd love in me,
More worthy I to be belov'd of thee.

Maybe later I'll post here some of my today's poems. ;)

Hanging around ;)

Today my friends and I was walking around the city and taking some pics of nature and of eachother :)

That was pretty cool, 'cause it's warm outside (finally spring came!)

Everything is blooming and it's wonderful ^^

So the day was really great and super-mega-wonderful!!! ^_^

 

Lost prayer

My heart was there one day

But once it had dying pain

Now it's all gone

You think it was wrong

Sailing away, running away

With a light of the day

My path leads me to your hideaway

Fading in your memory 

I'm sinking in that deep sea

My love, save me

The feelings will die in me

My dream, last fantasy

Sweet heaven lies in you

In the eyes of deep blue

Sailing away, running away

With a light of the day

My path leads me to your hideaway

Fading in your memory 

I'm sinking in that deep sea

My dear, save me

Nothing ties me to this place

Only your sad face,

One pleading look made me stay

Please, take me away

Sailing away, running away

With a light of the day

My path leads to your hideaway

Fading in your memory

I'm sinking in that deep sea

Oh, please, save me

None could heal

My heart, your thrill

Will kill me from inside

Pure love will I once find?

You took me

That night new star was born

Your tear still dwell within

All was lost and forlorn 

Forever I've prayed 

For you, whom I still need

Don't be afraid

Your heart will be healed 

Sailing away, running away

With a light of the day

My path leads me to your hideaway

Fading in your memory 

I'm sinking in that deep sea

Oh, dear, please, save me

Soul whispered: "It's true"

The words once said

Long ago they flew

Desire is almost dead

Although, forever I knew

I had to wait..

My heart will long for you

Save all I once prayed

Please, save all I've prayed for

Pure love was born before

Your words will live forevermore

Sailing away, running away

With a light of the day

My path leads me to your hideaway

Fading in your memory 

I'm sinking in that deep sea

Please, save me

Once having a hope

That was the beginning of my fall

Or maybe no

What did I gain?

Under the rain, 

Taking care of deep pain

Oh no...Not again

Drink this cup with me,

Suffer no more

Bring the end, just kill

The pain of bleeding sore

Do this last will

You know how it is, you've had this before

Bearing this thrill

I left you that score...

Dark forest,pale moon
Here you come soon...
To kill my deep pain
To be with me under warm rain

Having no powers to pretend
That I have no feeling
Telling you that I once dreamt
About true love which one is killing

So many people still dare
Call me a pure angel or a lustful whore
But I don't care
Maybe in past, but not any more...

Who am I for you ?
No lies, tell me just truth
I want to know
Then I'll decided to stay or go

I wish I could see you
Every day of my living
Oh I wish I could kiss you
You'll understand my feeling

Just tell me
Who am I for you?
Be my only fantasy
And remember I miss you...

Took cold, so sitting at home :P

I stayed at home on Monday, because of cough I had. But yesterday I went to school 'cause my friend and I had to present our ecology project.

But our teacher said that she had to go, and we would bring our projects on CDs. 

After school we went to the nearest cafe to drink some coffee. 

When we went outside we found that it was raining and we had no umbrellas so we walked under the rain. That's why today my cough became worse.

Today doctor will come and give me a  prescription. :X

Something about make-up. Part II

Here is the photo of today's eye make-up. 

For make-up I usually use Oriflame cosmetics and Avon. I prefer grey or light-blue eye shadows and black eye liner. 

Also I use black mascara. Usually it's Avon. 

Something about meke-up ...

Here is a photo before eye make-up.

In the evening I'll post a photo of my casual daily eye make-up ;)

12th April 2010

Who will dry 

The rain of my tears?

Who will cry 

For me in long gone years?

Who will die 

When I'm still alive?

Heart's candle will burn

With love of the young

My poetry is the only way

To make you stay

Maybe once it was wrong

To write that song

When I told you 

"Dear, this poem is for you"

Forgive me for that

I once said

For you would be better if

I kill this feeling, but only with

This love my heart is dead

Since when I met you

I felt like never before

Eternal spring dwelt in my soul

Now all blooming days lost in the fog

Courses and the nature :)

Today was a bit specific day. I came to university where I have courses every Sunday.

We had 3 pairs today

but we always go out earlier ;)

So my two friends and I decided to go to the nearest park and walk around. 

We were walking in the park for about 1,5 hours. There is so beautiful nature, and I was a bit upset that I didn't take my camera (photos were taken with a mobile camera) :\

There is a huge lake with swans in this park... 

But, unfortunately, we had not bread or anything else to feed them.. also we had no money to by something for them. So we took some photos of them... ;)

Soon the wind began blowing we felt cold and went home. 

At home I felt ill... now I have a cough :(

Maybe I'll stay at home tomorrow, 'cause I feel not very well.

Hope I feel better in some days...

An apple pie :)

The day was a bit funny for me :)

In the morning I was doing some shopping with my mother. 

The coolest thing that I bought today were hairpins with little sparkling stones ^^

Then I met with my friends and we were hanging around. After that we came to my friend's house and time of fun began :D

We bought some apples (that was the only thing that was lacking for our apple pie).

And cooking has begun :) We were having a lot of fun during the cooking. 

In the end of our pie story we decorated our "masterpiece" with an apple owl ^^.

It was pretty delicious, even better than we thought :)

But the evening was not really funny :\ as always I was doing maths :X

I need to practice more and more to get the high score at the tests, so... good luck :D 

And also a new poem ;) 

The toy lion that was given to me as a present from our boys for the 8th March. 

Let's give him a name ;)

Evening of art ;)

Today's evening was for me a bit "artistic" ;)

I was singing the whole evening different songs. Actually I am not a professional singer (of course), but people who has heard my singing told I have a beautiful voice. 

After the entering tests in the university (only then I have some free time) I'll take some lessons of vocal. 

I am planning to take also some piano lessons, but I think that my mother will teach me. She has a musical education, so I have no problem with this ;)

Also that was the evening of poetry ;) 

08.04.2010

One day I'll fly so far

To find the truth

And heal broken heart

Wounded heart belonging to you...

Crying, begging to save

Every tear, every blooddrop

Trying to fly away, to escape

To get this holy last hope

My nightmare was real

But why?

The only who could heal

Now all dreams left by

Cold silence touched my heart

Dark night hides my path

When you are not with me

Just let me live

No life is in me

Any hope to see reality

When you are not here...

I hope all is clear... 

Photos ^^

School day

I couldn't think about anything because of this -.- headache... ohh..

The day flew with thoughts about personal things which eat me from inside...

I don't know how to escape these thoughts...The poems became letters to the person, who even doesn't care about these feelings of mine.

The whole day was spent with one song and writing poems.

I wished not to feel at all than to feel that I have now.

In such moments I wish to escape from all lies, from the whole world... somewhere so far far away.

That's maybe the most personal blog I've ever written.

Here are some poems that I wrote today.

The morning took me 

With the warm sunshine

But nothing I could see

The dream is not mine

You thought I can't feel

Every touch of your will

But what could I do

I still love you...

I don't want to tell

You about my pain

It wouldn't make well

Not me, not you... but again

I can't kill this thought

So many tries I did

And what have I got?

In dead field I've found live seed

My thought lives still

In the heart and it will

Live forever in me,

In my and your memory

Nothing could kill pure love

You know this

If only I had a chance or a half

To receive one gentle kiss...

PS. But today were also some positive moments ;)

For example, my friend took some photos of me, so I'll post them here..but a bit later ;)

Missing..

Yesterday it was a bit sad evening for me... I thought a lot about different things and listened to the sad music :\

Also writing poems helped me to understand something really important for me. 

I got that not always we can change something, sometimes we can change nothing... and sometimes it's hard... again a lot of pain, tears... ohh... 

But a tiny hope still left. But also so often I ask myself: "What is this all for?" and find no answer... 

In such time I feel just cold emptiness within.. and I don't know how long it will be there.. even I don't know how to kill this pain in my heart... 

I thought that poetry could help, and for a long time it was so, but now it's harder and harder to write something, 'cause every verse is really personal and.. it's like demonstrate all your feelings to everyone.. but in the moment of writing I don't care about this. 

Still reading my own writing I can't say how long I could stand all of this.. 

And even now, sitting and writing this blog, a bit sad and with tears in my eyes I think about very important person for me... 

Maybe I should thank him, it's because of him I began writing poems. 

One day I will say it to him personally, I hope.... 

Now I'll go to school. I have not a long working day today and this makes me happy ^^. I'll come home today at about 14...  

Maybe I also post some new poems here.

So check it out ;) 

Old pain in my heart...

Pale light of reality -

My dark bound 

Cruel words of humanity - 

The last hurt sound

Broken promises dwelt in

Reminding me of you

Take my deep feeling

In the dark I see only you...

No time left now -

The heart is cold

No question of why or how

Was my heart ever loved?

I wanted to tell

but this tolling of bell

Called and called

The tale of dearlie beloved ... 

Poetry & music...

I wasn't so long at school today, because I had to do some documents for university. (again the doctors... oh -.-)

At school I was only at first 2 lessons, it was Ukrainian literature... nothing special was there, so I could write some poems ;)

I like such lessons very much, because it's like some free time when I could do everything that I want: listen to the music, write poems or draw something etc.

So the morning would be better if all of this had happened at about 10 or 11 o'clock :)

But still it was cool. 

Today's hanging around and yesterday's countryside trip ;)

Yesterday also was a nice day, 'cause I visited my grandparents and played with their dogs. :)

My day of fun :)

In the morning my friend and I were doing the ecology project for tomorrow.

After some studying we went to do some shopping ;). We haven't bought any clothes, but I've bought a lot of chocolate ^^ ( favourite food) 

Some Kinder surprises made me happy as never before :D

And I was playing with some green thing with one eye and wheels for about two hours...mmm... %)

Here is a photo of "my precious" mhahaha :)

Actually, we photographed a lot and different things, people, landscapes etc. ;) 

And the poem, which I tried to send yesterday..

Path turned away

Angels are singing above my head

They will pray

For the hopes aren't dead

For the song of our souls

Your heart still longs

What do you feel?

When will pass this thrill?

Oh why love lies so far

Two paths become one 

Long years left in the dark

But two souls aren't alone

Heaven's light make me believe

Your kiss still lives with

This memory about night time

When you were mine...

Day was really great ! ^^

In the morning I went to English lesson. I had a good talking with my teacher after the lesson, as always ;)

Then I was doing maths =X

But after all of this I was doing shopping with my parents. And this was really awesome ^^.

I love shopping at all. So, the day was great :)

Hope that tomorrow will be also great! :)

Preparing for Easter :)

Hi all! :)

One day left to Easter. 

Today everyone prepares for the great holiday. 

Maybe I also do some shopping today, but later.. 'cause still there are a lot things to do.

Oh, the one dream for these days is just to sleep a lot!!! ^^ 

But also meet some friends, go to the cinema or somewhere else... hmm..

Happy Easter to everyone! ;)

Some bullshitting ^^

That was drawn on some lesson, I even don't remember which one :) but I am sure that then it was boring.

Maybe then was history, 'cause it's always the lesson of art for me ^^

I always draw something at this lesson.

Maths, chemistry and physics - for poems ;) 

1st April

For me it was the day of poetry and art :)

I was thinking about poems almost the whole day.. and tried to write something (you also can read one of those poems that I wrote today ;) )

Although, it was an April Fool's Day, there were not so many jokes and tricks on others. A bit weird, 'cause almost every year someone in our class play a trick on another. But this year is different, so... no tricks :P

Maybe the weather played the important part in this - today is not sunny, also it's a bit cold. 

But I hope that tomorrow it'll be a bit different :)

P.S. but still it's not the end of this great day.. and  one may play a trick on me, so... ;)

New poem..

I've hidden my feelings for so long

Now I can't stand it any more

It's too hard for my soul

To pretend that I don't feel for

You are my angel, the only true love

The only flash of light

My dear, you are the only my hope

Not just the wish of night

Dream of dark lust,

Truth burnt to dust...

Is this really that we live for?

I want to get something more

Just give me the chance

To believe in pure true sense

Give me this love I'm longing for

Desire took me like never before

The only I want you to tell

Just silent three words

Not sad farewell 

Because of it my heart hurts 

But another whispering

Flame of passion burns within

I wish you were here now

To stop this pain..but how?