My scool-leaving party

All began at 8 pm. It was raining outside and I was afraid that 5 hours at the hairdesser's and make-up would be wasted. 

After the main part of the celebration we went to the bar. 

Honestly, I was so tired at the bar that maybe at 12 pm or 1 am I wanted to go home :) 

I don't like very much so loud parties etc. 

Then at 6 am we went home. I came home and fell asleep. ^^ And I was sleeping maybe till 11 am or something like that.

Now I'm very happy that school is over and I wish not to see some of my ex-classmates again. 

Here are some photos ;)

The school life is over now.

That's all. Today was the last day at school. 

Yeah, I told so many times that I hate it but how hard it was not to cry standing and listening to the congratulations of almost crying teachers. 

Deep inside I love school and will love it maybe stronger. 

There passed my childish funny and happy years. There I've met my friends, but also enemies... 

That was such a great time there, at school.... 

I'll miss it... but now another life has begun, real life, adult life. 

Childhood is over. 

I've told that I'd miss all of this, but I would never wish to turn back in this time... 

Some part of me will always stay here, but I don't need this anymore. 

Life goes on and I have to go with it.

Bitter truth

The rabble thought

I had no feeling

Telling rude words

Where left no healing 

Calling me a bitchy whore

Falling down, they told

I am a spoiled bore

But you still give me powers to hold

To hold on!

Never fading away 

The hope deep in my mind

Reminds me of that day

When I got I was once blind

Calling me a bitchy whore

Falling down, they told

I am a spoiled bore

But you still give me powers to hold, 

Just to hold on...

Forever a fool, never an angel

I, blind bitch living in her own world,

Devilish beast sitting in dark cage

Heart of stone could never hurt

Calling me a bitchy whore

Falling down they told

I am a spoiled bore

But you still give me powers to hold,

To live, to stand this all!

Forever I thought -

Farewell would hurt

But not now, not in this world

I am a bitchy whore

Like they once told

I am a spoiled bore

Give me more powers to hold,

To leave this all...

Give me more..

(I need forever more)

The third one

Prayer for being taken by the wind

But is that I really need?

Return me back in time

Show me my whole life

Holy soul, wild nature

You are my rapture

Why had I met you?

Deep inside 

Lies the heart of the wild

It's hidden within

With your deep dream

Forever dark creature

Will long for you

Because you are...

My deep fear, my eternal bliss

The angel gave only one kiss

That was enough to tame

My poor soul, my deepest shame

Holy soul, wild creature

You are forever my rapture 

Oh God, why had I met you?

Why had I fallen in love with you?

Tell me why I'd felt the pain

Just dream me through

The sky, through the starlit sky again

 

Holy soul, wild creature

You are forever my rapture 

Oh God, why had I met you?

 

One more booooring day at school %)

Today was cool boring day. There are 23 students in our class, so today only 7 were present. :)

We were sitting in computer class and it was bullshitting time of course :D Almost the whole day I spent lying on the chairs listening to the music... ohh.. it was so nice... Feel of freedom! :D

Also I've written 2 poems (when I was not lying on the chairs or school desk), all other time I was trying to fall asleep but my mother's call awakened me. 

But it was nice boring day at all ;)

See you soon... 

Dream becomes true... but not this time :\

Some months before I wake up in the morning and thought that one more day to the dream had passed by. 

Some months before I thought that I'd go to the St.Petersburg this August... 

But some days ago my mother told me that this year "No St. Petersburg" =( 

I'm very sad about this, 'cause this is a very beautiful city and some more my personal reasons...

I don't know when I could go there, when would be this "another time" :\

PS. on pieni ongelma ... Ehkä voisimme puhua siitä tänä iltana? 

The weekends :)

The weekends were great. The Saturday was a shopping day ^^ 

My mother and I were looking for something special for next Saturday's party in the bar. So we had finally found the right costume. It's great, but photos will be posted later, after the party ;)

Hope it'll be wonderful :) Also today I was walking around... 'cause maths has almost killed my mind %) 

Next Thursday I have the last day at school and on Saturday is school-leaving ball ^^

I can't wait !!! :) 

It's a bit sad, because I wouldn't see some people whom I'll really miss... but I'm happy that some of them I wouldn't see ever.. I've stood that long enough, now it's time to forget it all and move on. 

So there will be some new photos and maybe videos! ;) Will see :)

Ballad of the heart

Old story about the fate

Began one day of October

Now it’s just too late

Secret love it’s dead ever

 

This night has changed my life

Under the pain, beneath your oath

Over the oceans and seas, so high

My love will lie above

All dreams and wishes of mine

Save me, my angel of love

 

I dreamt, I wished, I prayed

 

Lying beneath the path

Old part was once played

Voice of dying heart

Eternal deep love still saved

 

You told me the tale

Of your soul, dry tears

Under dark veil

 

Remind me those words

About wounded dead souls

Let me heal old scar that hurts

Your lonely soul described in the songs

 

I dreamt, I wished, I prayed

 

Lying beneath the path

Old part was once played

Voice of dying heart

Eternal deep love still saved

 

You told me the tale

Of old days

Under dark veil

 

Take me away

Under this rain

Over the mountains and woods

My tears – laughter of fools

All fears – their deep bliss

Save me from all of this

 

I dreamt, I wished, I prayed

 

Lying beneath the path

Old part was once played

Voice of dying heart

Eternal deep love still saved

 

You told me the tale

Of your soul, dry tears

Under dark veil

 

Oh, stay with me

Help me to find

The truth of the sea

Loneliness left behind

Take this memory

Of the sin lying deep in my mind

Make me forget it all!

It's gone, my teary hour
Pain of soul took my power
Could you bring me somewhere?

For so long I had to stand
This pain, deep love, soul's torture
But no more, this is the end
All suffering will be gone with your touch

The feeling is like an ocean
One more fleeting emotion
My tears are your deep devotion

Leaves now dead, then reborn
No way, no solvation, nowhere to go
Why to return to be again forlorn?
One more question of wounded soul

No healing touch for a broken heart
My cure lies deep
All I ever need it's to be loved
Ever pain is one weep

No more lies now
Still alive, but how

No more cruel pain
Reveal me your suffering

The feeling is like an ocean
One more fleeting emotion
My tears are your deep devotion

No more tears
I can't stand it
Move these fears
Let me forget it

The feeling is like an ocean
One more fleeting emotion
My tears are your deep devotion

Wind's whisper, my fall
Oh, make me forget it all

Wind's whisper, my fall
Oh, make me forget it all!

Great Day!!! :)

Today I went to the university to take the grant for the studying on this university. There was the test according to it's result you can get 20 % - 100 % discount for studying in this university.

I love this university so much and it is my dream to study there. Technically I have to pass some entering tests and then I could study there ^^

After uni I went to the center of city and was hanging around. Here are some photos about my short trip. ;)

The heart of a wild

Our time is night
The life lies in the dark
One dream of light
Hope's light so deep in heart

See the wild nature
Of my own soul
You're the master of your creature
So tame me with your song

Nothing to feel sorry for
None left to blame
My longing rises forevermore
Deep pain finally came
I loved you before
Your touch still could tame

Your hope lies over me
The wish makes feel insane
Now I could feel and see
Because the feeling is the same

Nothing to lose
None to blame
One day for excuse
One moments of shame
My word of refuse
Your kiss me to tame

New "friend" :)

This is my new toy ^^

It's a shockfish :) and he is so beautiful and cute 

^__-

Hanging around :)

Today I went to the town, needed some more material for the school-leaving party's costume :) 

So here are some photos about the short trip. Check it out! 

Pure heart, once broken

Behind all lies being spoken

One healed it one day

Pale moon came again

Night without a sleep 

No cry now, no weep

Silence was broken by

One only word - "why"

Watching bright stars

I thought about "us"

Dark night sky

Took my silent cry

My dear love,

Lighten my path

Lead me astray

One short moment to pray

Over this time of dark play

I wish I could stay

To find the truth, pure truth

Beneath all fears, beneath the light of moon

Give me the day

To live once more

To find the way

Leading to your door

I believed, I hoped

I wished to be loved

That night had hoped

But dear heart had stopped... 

School-leaving party. Part II

The dress is not the whole preparing for SLP. So today I'll call my hairdresser and makeup artist. 

I hope that their schedule isn't too busy.

My school-leaving party is on 29th May and it's soon... 

But before this I have 3 "very bad" exams (-.-) 12.05 - Ukrainian, 16.05 - English, 17 - History Of Ukraine... xP

I wish time of exams would pass very very fast :)

PS. soon there will be some photos of me in my dress ;)

Sins

Forgive me my weakness
Ease my pain
Forgive me my sense
Kill purity again

Take all my sins
Blow away the tear
Give me the poison that kills
All fears, my dear I swear
I'll move all your deep thrills

Forgive me my fear
Why am I in love?
Forgive me, my dear
For all I've believed once...

Show me the world beneath
The world without an old sin
Of time and tide
Of beauty that lies inside
We live in the same reality

Forgive me my tears
This path is my destiny
Forgive me my fears
Your love lies over me

I wish I could change the world
But not anymore
See the anguish in angel's eyes under the sword
You killed me before
You had hurt me with a cruel word

Forgive me for all I've told
There was not only my fault
Forgive me my stupidity
Leave apart your dignity

The school-leaving ball. Preparing. Part I

My dress for s.-l. party is finally done! 

Last week I decided that I want totally another dress. Although, I have two "bonus" dresses I have also the third one now :)

And today I got it ready! I'm so happy about this!!! ^_^ 

It seems to be perfect. I know that there are much better dresses, but for me this one is perfect. 

The detail information will be posted later ;)

Time slowly flows taking old days,
One by one
I want to lie in your embrace
Forever one, never gone
Show me this neverdying grace
Of pure love

Days lose their brightness
Without truth
Life lose the sense
Without you

Don't believe that you see
Again you've hurt me
Don't believe the words
But believe the heart that hurts

World without colours
Meadows without flowers
My life without you
Eternal death-field to go through

Why is this all
If it need no call?
No words, no pain, no fall
If you don't need me, so
Just let me go
Or give me this pain once more

Eternity without time
The ocean without tide
Deep fear became a crime
Of you this pain will remind...