Congratulations to Anette and Johans!

I am so happy for both of you, guys! 

That's just great! I wish you all the best and your baby! ;)

And hope both mother and child feel good and healthy!

Congrats!!!!

Needlework ;)

Maybe I've told you once that I've decided to sew a dress by myself, maybe not ... but anyway I've decided to do this :)

So I've bought some material for the dress and it's dark-blue chiffon with bright pink, yellow and purple flowers. I think that these colors are very suitable for this season of year ;) 

Maybe even next week I'll put there some photos of this dress, 'cause it's still not ready for now.

I hope it will look nice... so you'll tell me then how you think ;)

Yours Cathy

The song of this night

The reason of my writing at such late hour is simple - I can't fall asleep.

So I'm sitting in the dark room, listening to the music and writing this blog...

And ladies and gentlemen I want to name the song of this night!

Tonight it's the song, soundtrack to be certain to the movie Lieksa!. Beautiful song by Nightwish "While Your Lips Are Still Red" ... The tune excites with its purity and light, and of course lyrics is just great... as always.

Here you can watch this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrcxoYkYO4E 

Enjoy!

C

Silent memory of eternity

Wrote this poem when I was listening to one song that you know very well for the 1001 time... and still it's my favourite song.... 

 

Tear by tear, it falls down
But why, just why?
Who are we? None...
It will pass by...
With red sun it's slowly gone

But deep inside
I feel that it's only growing
Tearing my heart
And your wound keeps on howling

Please, tell me why it's not gone?
Why is it going on and on?
Why can't I forget it all?
While you're here that will be my fall
I'm still longing for your call

So deep within
It makes me insane
It seems to be unreal
The pain is still the same

Why do I still feel for you?
Why can't I move on?
Although you don't think it's true
But something doesn't let me go
Some power ties me to you

Stop that heart bleeding
'cause when the last drop falls
There will be no path leading
To the land of eternal dawns

Why can't I see you now?
Why am I falling down?
Still you're holding me on
I know you'll never let me go
That path was made for us both

None could know the fate
But someone will get it
All the truth of love and hate
That one who can read
Silent memory while it's not too late

Lazy day :P

It was pretty lazy day today...

Late wake-up, something about 11 o'clock in the morning because of a bad sleep. Then breakfast at 11.30 watching Friends on DVD. Like to have a breakfast watching this series. :) 

Also I have some plans with cutting out my summer dress. First time I have such experience, he, he ;)

Maybe later in the evening I'll play my piano, still don't know but I want to.

Yesterday I visited one music shop looking for a keyboard as my b-day present. And I know that 6th October is still so far, I want to chose the model now. It's a very long process, especially when it deals with such kind of thing and also - that's me, you know... everything should be just perfect (!!!) ... 

So I've played one keyboard and I got that I really really want music to be a part of my life. That's just so great feeling, you know. When the music and you becoming the one thing and then you feel so ... even don't know how to say.. that's too hard to explain it with words. Amazing feeling. 

So, anyway I'll play something today ;) 

See you soon, 

Yours Cathy

 

 

The Main Part

While I go I still remember

Your eyes, kind smile

They will live in my memory forever

They are forever in my mind

Baby, wherever I go, whenever I leave

You are the main part,

You live so deep inside me

Forever you're in my heart

Hope you believe in what you see

Looking at the sunset sky

I remember you

Silent wind reminds me about that

I still haven't told you

Baby, wherever I go, whenever I leave

You are the main part

You live so deep inside me

Forever you're in my heart

Hope you believe in what you see

Last call of this dying day

Everyone calls a sunset

I wish this end not fade away

Forever and never forget

'cause...

Baby, wherever I go, whenever I leave

You are the main part

You live so deep inside me

Forever you're in my heart

Hope you still believe me

Baby, I hope to see you

This meet should be soon

Because, I'm dying without you

Baby, wherever I go, whenever I leave

You are the main part

You live so deep inside me

Forever you're in my heart

Hope you still believe me

 

You ...

I've thought a lot 

About the words I once heard 

And still I didn't forgot

Of yours they were

So now just keep silence and read

What I do really think

Of you, my dear (just read)

One look of those eyes

Shows the way to paradise

One word of those lips

Could revive or move all of this 

Pain and suffering, love and longing

Forever you burn in me that deep emotion

But if you heard this story

You couldn't believe

Every word was a lie, fake memory

Pure heart you still can relieve

Although you're just afraid of me

Or it's a mistake - I just can't see

Still I can't understand, why can't I feel?

One look of those eyes

Shows the way to paradise

One word of those lips

Could revive or move all of this 

Pain and suffering, love and longing

Forever you burn in me that deep emotion

Oh, God, when you, dear, will get

Love can't be based on glory

It was made of memory and fate

Oh, why don't you see?

One look of those eyes

Shows the way to paradise

One word of those lips

Could revive or move all of this 

Pain and suffering, love and longing

Forever you burn in me that deep emotion

The one whom I trust forevermore

The one who I'm afraid to loose 

The only who means to me forevermore

Could you believe that it is truth

That you mean to me forevermore

Not glory, money or status  

Miss Forevermore

When night is silently coming
Time becomes just endless
Forever stops its eternal flowing
And hours are sleepless
Because this unreal feel just growing
'cause just...

Missing you forever more
I felt that never before
Just none I was longing for
And never more, ever more
I miss you too much to let you go
Because I miss you forever more

This night is like others ones
When dream almost takes me
In its warm and kind arms
But that cold annoying feel
Doesn't let me too close
To the tide of sweet sleep
'cause just ...

Missing you forever more
I had that never before
Just nothing I was longing for
Made me stay never wanting to go
Never more, ever before
Because I miss you forever more

Could you explain me why
I really cannot sleep
Tell me why is this eternal cry
Doesn't let me feel
Those dreams from height of the sky

Missing you forever more
I felt that never before
Just none I was longing for
And never more, ever more
I miss you too much to let you go
Because I miss you forever more

Missing you forever more
I had that never before
Just nothing I was longing for
Made me stay never wanting to go
Never more, ever before
Because I miss you forever more

Shitty day... really shitty!!!

Today I went to apply my documents to one more uni and it seemed to be okay till... I haven't seen that bastard who had been poisoning my life for almost 2,5 years and made last months in school just awful.

As I found out he applied his documents to the same unis as I... =\

Fuck my life.... Perkele, why? I thought I would have a normal life now but noooo way!

It's just not fair... 

But still it's okay, 'cause we will study at different faculties.. and that makes me a bit happier :)

And also 4 hours of standing-waiting in the long queue and it's done! WooHoo!

Next week will be a bit quieter I think because all the documents are applied so I could relax ;) 

Maybe I'll change some faculties etc. to make the chance to get free studying more real and easier.

So I'll write about this any way here ;)

See you soon :* 

All yours, Cathy

Midnight

It's over midnight

Tomorrow is a hard day

But no sleep in my eye

How I just wish to fly away

If only I could find

This one right way

Dreaming and singing

I thought I could forget

And kill it all in the beginning

Of that story being once said

Take my hand reviving the feeling

And don't let me go mad

Embrace me and tell

There is nothing to be afraid of

Every tear goes to hell

What's this if not love?

In my heart lives a whisper of a tiny bell

I hope that you'll read this

'cause you know, baby

It will become a whisper of your lips

Silent memory of me

Like a midnight magical kiss

It will live within

Don't forget it, please

Just keep it in your heart

Secret memory of this

Will live in my heart

Like that midnight kiss

From the dream left apart

Just keep it within

Like a prayer

Dear, remember me

Like that fire

Burning deep in...

Never-Forever

I've never wanted to abuse 

You, my dear...

Because forever I'm afraid to loose

You, my dear...

Just save me from the cold noose

Please, be near

Darling, forgive me

My heart still hopes

That you can see

Pure soul that loves

You because you just live

I've never wanted to abuse

You, my dear...

Because forever I'm afraid to loose

You, my dear

Just save me from the cold noose

Please, be near

You are my angel that

Saves me from all fears,

From all the bad

Through all these years

But never my hopes were dead

I've never wanted to abuse

You, my dear...

Because forever I'm afraid to loose

You, my dear

Just save me from the cold noose

Please, be near

Just be near,

With me...

So near, my dear

Please, baby

I've called you 'my angel'

Because you save me forever

You knew....

You knew all my feeling
That I'm longing for, you knew
Still ruined my believing
You said it was illusion, not true
But that was the beginning
Of all this long story of eyes so deep blue

My longing, still growing
Dark night through silent moaning
Comes to me with your howling

You knew that I was in love
That I felt for, you knew
Nevertheless you changed my sky above
Becoming the one and only, just you
Taking my soul more and more
Seducing me until I swear to be just for you

Killing old pain, passed through years
Washing anguish away, those sad tears
You made me feel for you, dear...

Being tamed
I cried to be yours
Oh, how I was ashamed
For the feeling that still hurts

You knew, I was for another
But you killed that I ever felt
You knew, I loved just moreover
But you made my love melt
Still you were the one who could cover
Me from all fears I ever had

You knew that I trust you
That all tears were for you
All that I feel was truth, you knew
Please, don't tease me, I beg you
Just make my wish become true

Words..

Why do I love you - tell me
Why every thought is of you
I still feel for you, don't you see?
Now I weep about you
But you told "Let it be"

All the days full of cry,
All the scars, every blooddrop passed by
Every dream of mine

Your touch I felt then
Silent breath on my skin
You knew who I am
Why, why is it just a dream?
Don't leave me again...

All the days full of scream,
All the moments are just a dream
But you are all I need

One meet I prayed for so long
No way to escape, no path to return
One kiss for bleeding soul
No heart left to burn
I long for the last lovesong

All these years I've been waiting
For long time you've been praying
To hear these words I'm saying...

Through the wish

Going so far through the night
No dreaming, no sleeping
Flying with warm daylight
I couldn't hide my weeping

Feeling sorry for all words and tears
Being afraid of betraying and all fears
What could I do through all the past years?

No hand to move the saddest tears
Because you are so far
No raindrop to cover dry leaves
Wish comes with the first star
Cold night is our time of dreams

Forever I tried to search for
A perfect land, magic world
That was lost so long ago
But still there nothing could hurt

You wished love will die being never born
Just tell me why, please, explain
Why heart should be ever forlorn
I prayed for easing this pain

Feeling sorry for all words and tears
Being afraid of betraying and all fears
What could I do through all the past years?

No hand to move the saddest tears
Because you are so far
No raindrop to cover dry leaves
Wish comes with the first star
Cold night is our time of dreams

Forbidden kiss, hidden emotion
Pale reality or secret illusion?
Your eyes took all my passion

Feeling sorry, being afraid
I can't kill the memory
That I once had
Still we can't change this reality
As we can't make love to be dead

You know the heart will never beat again
Without deep love which keeps it in safe
Don't try to make every feel be in vain,
To move all deep love away
I beg save me from this pain

Feeling sorry for all words and tears
Being afraid of betraying and all fears
What could I do through all the past years?

No hand to move the saddest tears
Because you are so far
No raindrop to cover dry leaves
Wish comes with the first star
Cold night is our time of dreams

Trip to Simpheropol. The photos

I've been so bored in the train so I decided to take some pics ;)

 

                                     

This one reminds me the words from "Meadows Of Heaven" :"....will be my sunflower field"

There was just too hot in the train.. something about +40 degrees.. hot like in hell!  

Documents...

Hi there..

The last two days were just a living hell for me.

Yesterday I was standing in the queue for almost 6 hours. Long hours of waiting in the hot corridor with over 300 of people. 

And also a bonus 1,5 hour of waiting in the selection committee... 

And only there after all this time I got to know that there is a little mistake in my name in the certificate where are all the results of my entering tests. 

So I was told that I need to go to Simpheropol, it's about 400 km from the city I'm living in. 

At 3 am I left for Simpheropol by train. Trying to sleep I was listening to favourite songs on my MP3 player. At 9.30 I was there.

After correcting all that stuff I had to hang around the city 'cause the train back was only in 6 hours...

The way back was really hard. It was so hot outside and in the train was no air-conditioner or ventilator or something.. it was about 40 degrees .. Oo

But, of course, I took a lot of photos and I'll upload them tomorrow ;-) 

Still tomorrow I have to go to the university to apply my documents again. 

Hope that everything will be okay..

Good night!

I'll Always Be Here

Silent song of the rain
Doesn't let me sleep
Drops are falling again
Awakening memories so deep
Why do they whisper my name
And take every my weep?

They call me with them to run
Once I'll do this, choose their path
But it's too early to be gone,
Disappear with the wind looking for love
Vanish in last rays of setting sun
Make me fly so high above...

My heart beats with the rhythm of raindrops
Dear, young tiny heart still hopes
To escape from jail of all faults

Every sound is like explosion
So silent was night
All dreams are like one great illusion
So real and bright
Quiet cry is my eternal emotion
Give me powers for flight

Your whisper like wind's calling
Silent touch like raindrop's falling
One kiss kills hurtful howling

And only the dawn
Makes all of this just a dream
Which will be long gone
But memory will never leave
You and me to be all alone
Silence will never become a scream

You should remember I'm always here
Just give me a hand and close your eyes
Trust me, I'll never leave you, my dear
One touch moves away all dark lies
Still you remember I'll always be here

Last word.. to you

This is my last such note
I want you know this my thrill
For a long time I've hoped
You could understand still
Every tear, every feeling, every wound
I ask you for one only thing -
Trust, but now I don't know

Feeling sucks without a reason
I'm counting the hours
I've tried to forget and enjoy the season
But still memories took all powers

If everything is gone
Oh, please, just let me know
I can't wait anymore
tell me if you've decided all
I just can't forevermore
Dear, please, let me know

Some feeling could be gone
But something will stay forever
Such as trust, faith and hope
You should know all could be better

No more pain, dear
Darkness will be gone one day
With lonely cold tear
May I help you to find a way,
Take away that your fear,
Show you the beginning of a new day?
Just see who we are
And, please, don't push me away

The Stranger

Who are you, my yesterday stranger?
Are you a dream or mirage of loneliness?
So beautiful creature with the eyes of an angel
I thought all my feelings will flew with the darkness

Oh how I wish to see you again
I even don't know your name
Oh I wish .. what a shame!

One glance made little girl blush
That look of your eyes
All was like a bright flash
You're an angel with so kind smile

Oh how I wish to meet you again
And get to know your name
How I wish to feel that shame..again

I've never had that before
I've seen but without any feel
This time it turned not so
Please, be just my dream

How I wish to see you again
To look in your eyes, to read there your name
Please, one more time, let's meet again

I've seen you never before
That could be a mistake or no
Anyway yesterday is so far away
So it doesn't matter now, but maybe one day..

Plans have changed....

Okay, yesterday I thought that today I would learn some Finnish, do some cleaning and also do preparing for TOEFL test, BUT.... 

But instead of all of this I woke up at almost 12 and was sitting and watching Friends and drinking warm tea... haha.. 

Still, anyway I hope that I'll do something (anything) from the list above :) 

Good luck to me! Hahaha.. :D

Shopping ^^

A couple of days ago I went for shopping and bought some clothes. 

It was a bit cold so I thought that long-sleeve t-shirt would be very nice ;) (actually the main cause why I've bought the t-shirt was that I loved the picture on it ^^)

And also because it's summer now I need something bright and comfortable, so... 

Whisper of Heart

Dark night, no light
None can hear us
First sigh, last cry
They are as far as the stars

Your touch on my skin -
It's my eternal bliss
Silent voice makes me feel
So tender touch of your lips
Free now every feeling within

I can't now see
The dream is yours or mine
Beneath the reality
Just erase the line
Between you and me
Please, stop the time

Whispering my name
You make me be insane
Doing the same
I feel you again and again

Still I can't see
The dream was yours or mine
But I can feel
What is truth and lie
I swear for you I live
And for you I can die....

A Dream...

Am I here again, in your dream?
None is near, just you
Forever you are near and won't leave
Last night of truth
You were with me, not him

Move the tears I cry
Take me, don't deny
I'm for you, it's not a lie
You're a tear in my eye

How could I live without a breath?
It's not a life...
How could I live after death?
This love is like strife
Being weak and full of strength

My dear angel, you
Make me feel the pain,
And suffer from love, too
You make me be insane

Being my saviour and slayer at the same time
You'll be forever my angel from heaven
Stay with me here, wait for our last tide
We won't die, so let's live till we still can

Don't count the hours of yours and mine
Just live and pray
Feel this sweet taste of my wine
See the dawn of another day
I promise I will make you feel fine
Just don't push me away

Take my hand and read in my eyes
"Everything will be okay"
I'll show you a paradise
Just don't turn away
I'll move all old lies
Just I beg you, dear, stay

So it's cleaning day! :)

Well, as all my friends are away from here now I'm totally alone.

Someone went to the seaside and someone to the countryside etc. and my summer holidays with going somewhere will be in August I am now at home. 

Sometimes it's movie day with lying on the coach and watching series, but today is a special day - cleaning day! :D

If I weren't so lazy I would have already cleaned the whole house.... so maybe I have to go now. 

Have a nice day as well! ;)

Sirenia - Voices Within

Today it's my song of day ^^

I just like it so much, amazing song... 

Actually I like such kind of songs... maybe I could listen to it for hundreds and millions times and it wouldn't bother me. :)

Here is the link :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBa4Mh-YPYA&feature=autofb 

Sleeplessness...

Hi all,

just one more sleepless night... so many tries and they all are vain... 

It's a wonderful night - not very hot, raindrops are falling on the ground making some noise... 

Leaves are talking with wind... and then here is silence again.

In such case I can listen to the music and write some lyrics... this is the best time for it, yeah.

The best thoughts come at night... very often after midnight.... 

But at the same time thoughts about loneliness come to my mind as well... and one more night is full of tears and sad lyrics... 

Then thoughts about love come with deep pain which makes the worst suffering for me.

The only thing I'm afraid the most it's to be alone and forlorn...  

Who are you?

A dream or a ghost,
Poor soul so lost
Just heart knew
Who really are you..

Who are you, the whisper of leaves, the song of the night?
My deepes sin or last fantasy?
Just tell me why I hear you voice so deep in my mind...
Reveal your face to me...
I've droen in your eyes, you have nothing to hide
Make everything become a reality

One touch of your lips
Reveals eternal bliss
There is the only truth
Longing for me and you

Who are you, the calling of rain, cold touch of my pain?
My dearest dream or sweet memory?
Tell me why I'm so afraid to wake up again
Don't go with the wave of the sea
Or take me with you, make me fade away
Without you my heart doesn't beat

Your eyes like two oceans full of waves
Deep tear still remembers and saves
Two deepest mirrors of soul
Where I have now drown...

Who are you, my night guest?
No, don't say a word
Make one my wish at least
Heart cannot be hurt
I pray to be kissed
Both won't be burnt
Still I swear I don't need anyone else...

Just, please, reveal to me your face
Show me sweet light of spring days
Make me feel alive
Just don't let me die...