You

All alone at home
Long hours pass by
Sweet blood, one cry
More pain, give me more...

More pain gives me the wound
That hurts deep in me
Taking all powers, all blood, every sound
Like a scream it lives within
More suffering for a poor soul

None is near now
That cursed thing called
Maybe freedom
Then it's better to be dead

More tears for blue eyes
They are always wet
Because people tell a lot of lies
But suffering that I had
This pain takes me, it ties....

Tell me what's wrong with me
Don't be silent, just say
What's happening to me?
The only thing left - just to pray

More alcohol, more tears, more pain, more...
Why all of this, what for?
Time stopped now, world doesn't turn anymore
Why all of this, what for?
It will never be like it was before
What is it for, tell me what for?

Move this nightmare, it's covered
With virgin's blood
Words, they are all said
Names were all called
You were the one to be saved...

World's end

Sometimes I pray to be killed
By you...
Too many blood was spilled
Of me and you...

Take my hand and dream me away
To the land of neverending faith
Just take me away...

Dear, I want to die nor from
But in your arms
Don't go, save my soul
Lie with me under the stars

Take me hand and I'll dream you
So far through the sky of blue,
Through last night of truth
I'll never leave you

Forever you know my tears
They are for you
Still hurted soul swears:
"I long for you"

Give me your hand and let's fly away
Let's be gone with the last sunray
To the world's end we will sail

May I ask you for...

Again the same

This bitter pain

It lives in me

And hurts so deep

Why can't I love?

I'm so afraid to be alone

You are my hope

I know you'll never be gone

No pain will be here now

Darkness became a light

Still tiny but for us

It shines in the night

Like one of those stars

Why can't I breath?

Please, don't leave me alone

I am so afraid

I'm just afraid to be forlorn

Please, save me, save

Again verse by verse

I write down all

That I can't tell with words

Oh, if I could ask for

One meet, one look, I don't want heart to hurt

Any more...

May I ask you

For one meet?

One pain for me and you

Just all I need

It's to see you

Dear, I wish you'd come

I don't need anything more

Please, just come

That's all I'm asking for...

Half past eleven but there is no sleep 

I try to believe that's not a dream

Not a mirage, not a fantasy lying so deep

One more thought about him

Another night will be gone with one weep

Again this howling pain within

You said you need time

So me too

Just take all of mine

Let me be for you

For so many times I've tried to explain

Or reveal to myself the story

Of dark end, true love, fading pain

Take away from me teary memory

Stay here and share this dance under the rain

Bring me with you to your might fantasy

You said I'll never loose you

Just give me some time

Dear, believe I'll never leave you

I wish you'd be mine

Awake me every day

Be next to me till the end of way

I want you to stay

You said it's hard

So it's hard not only for you

We had chosen this part

Just believe - I long for you....

Thunderstorm

Dreaming through the suffering
No thought that I'm alone
I felt cold touch of wind
And saw fast coming of storm

Bright lighting showed the tears
Tears of fear
Sound of thunder like million of screams
Screams of lonely soul
Cold rain returned me into my dreams
Where I could meet you

Still leaves whisper to me
"Reveal your heat to him"
But this cannot be real
One more nightmare, another dream

Bright lighting showed the tears
Tears of fear
Sound of thunder like million of screams
Screams of lonely soul
Cold rain returned me into my dreams
Where I could meet you

Oh, still heaven could see
No lie left in me
For you I wish to be

Bright lighting showed the tears
Tears of fear
Sound of thunder like million of screams
Screams of loving soul
Cold rain returned me into my dreams
Where I could meet you

Remember just one -
Follow your heart
One thought of love
Will show you right path

Bright lighting showed the tears
Tears of fear
Sound of thunder like million of screams
Screams of loving soul
Cold rain returned me into my dreams
Where I was for you

But our company occupied the beach. Many of my friends swam in the river, but I didn't. 

Also one my friend injured her leg when she was jumping from the rock and we should look for a surgery. I asked in the bar that was next to the place where we were and then we got to know that there is one not so far from there. So we went there and she got some help there. 

The water in the river is not very clear because of trash and wastes from the factories, so we were afraid of she could got some infection. 

Hope all is okay... 

But still we were walking a lot and saw many beautiful places there, so the trip was nice :)

Trip to Khortytsia....

The island has played an important role in the history of Ukraine, specially in the history of the Zaporozhzhian Cossacks. Khortytsia is located within the city limits of Zaporizhzhia. It extends from northwest to southeast for more than 12 km with an average width around 2.5 km.

The island has unique flora and fauna, including oak groves, spruce woods, meadows, and steppe.

I almost forgot that I haven't written about yesterday trip.. 

Yesterday my classmates and I made a little trip to the island in Dnieper river that is in my city. 

This island is called Khortytsia. And now about it's history. :)

 The northern part of the island is very rocky and high (rising 30m above the river bed) in comparison to the southern part, which is low, and often flooded by the waters of the Dnieper. This area is called the "рlavni" and is known for its numerous lakes and brooks (local people call them "zatoky").

In the Early Middle Ages, Khortytsia was a key centre for the trade route from the Varangians to the Greeks. In his treatise De Administrando Imperio, Emperor Constantine VII mentions the island of St. George immediately downstream from the rapids. He reports that, while passing through the rapids, the Rus would be easy prey for the nomadic Pechenegs. Indeed, the Kiev Rus' prince Svyatoslav I was attacked and killed during his attempt to cross the rapids in 972.

The very first stronghold known as a Sich was located on the island of Small Khortytsia and was established by the Volyn' prince Dmytro Vyshnevetsky. The Small Hortytsia Island is 20 times smaller than Khortytsia itself. The first Khortytsia Sich existed six years (1552-1558). There are few others locations downstream past the rapids (Zaporizhia area) where the Zaporizhian Sich was located. There are eight of them: Bazavluk (1593-1630), Mykytyn (1628-1652), Chortomlyk (1652-1709), Kamin (1709-1711), Oleshkiv (1711-1734), Pidpilna (1734-1775). All these places were at river crossings. The uprising led by Bohdan Khmelnytsky was started at the Mykytyn Sich in 1648. Legends state, that cossacks wrote the notorious Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks to Sultan Mehmed IV of the Ottoman Empire on Khortytsia. In the 1775, the Sich was destroyed by the Russian general Tekhely on the order of Catherine the Great. The Zaporozhian Cossacks as a result were displaced, many eventually settling on the Kuban river in the Caucasus area. These Cossacks became known as Kuban cossacks. A part of the Zaporozhian Cossacks escaped to beyond the Danube to become vassals of the Ottoman Sultan. They dwelt at mouth of the Danube river. In 1830 many of these Cossacks moved and established a new Sich on the Azov sea shore (between Mariupol and Berdiansk).

The last Kosh Otaman (leader) of Zaporizhian Sich Petro Kalnyshevsky was imprisoned at Solovetsky Island Monastery. At that time he was 85 years old. After 25 years in prison he was released and died almost blind at the monastery at age of 113 years.

In 1789, Danzig Mennonites from Prussia were invited by the czar to form settlements on the vast steppes of the Russian Empire. One of these settlements was located on the island of Khortytsia. They farmed on the rich island soil. Some of their profitable business was trade in lumber from the Khortytsia groves and woods.

 

And there are also some photos taken by me ;)

Please stay

Sound of guitar strings
Reminds me of old memory
Heart still believes
But it seems to be just a fantasy
Just heart still believes, still believes

River still flows taking the pain
Maybe that wasn't so wrong
I'm a prisoner of desert praying for rain
Just a lonely bird singing this song
Still praying for rain, oh again

My nightmare faded away
But anguish had stayed
I hoped for one more day
I wished you'd stayed, just stayed
Give me one more, one day

Love it's or not
But soul had hoped
That heart loved
Oh, I still love and want
I want to be loved

My nightmare faded away
But anguish had stayed
I hoped for one more day
I wished you'd stayed, just stayed
Give one more day, one day

Please, move this pain
Just take it away
I want just to say
"Dear, please, stay"

My nightmare faded away
But anguish had stayed
I hoped for one more day
I wished you'd stayed, just stayed
Give me one more day, just one day

Just stay with me, please, stay....

Tests are OVER!!!!

WooHoo! 

Today was the last one test and it's done! 

Now my summer holidays have officially begun!

It's just great, 'cause I could finally do whatever I want and sleep as long as I want ^_^

So now I have time to learn playing piano and continue my studying Finnish.

And tomorrow we'll go to Khortytsia (the island in the Dnipro river)

Hope it will be great! ;) 

One more test... The LAST one!

Tomorrow I have my last entering test - physics. (how I hate it, but still less than maths ;))

But, ohh... the feeling is sucks, 'cause I have some problems with one person... and I can't think about anything else.. especially about the physics. 

I wish everything was fine :\

Hope that we'll get okay soon.... hope so much... 

Twice more...

One more sleepless night
Again this time for fight
With thoughts of mine
Is this feeling truth or a lie?

Feeling the pain for us both
But still killing deep love
'cause you wished so
Just tell and I'll go

Calling under the rain
Last word faded away
Still I wish to stay

Twice more pain for a tiny heart
Twice more tears had left apart
Twice more blood covered dark path

Sweet suffering is my guide
Under hot sunrays and pale moonlight
You made new faith for both me and you
Forever you knew I told the truth

Calling under the rain
I whispered your name
Crying again and again

With bitter tears and sleepless nights
With all deepest fears and twinkle candle-lights
Will be gone my last hope with all unreal lies

If I lied to you
Why then I'm crying?
Believe, that's true
I'm not that who's lying...

Crying beneath the pain
I've dreamt of you again
My part is done, take me away

Twice more pain for my soul
It suffers for us both, me and you
I've told I'm afraid of being alone
Believe, 'cause it's pure truth

"I would never hurt you.. You know that I feel every your tear, every your pain, so why did you hurt me again and again? It's so hard for me to have twice more suffering... Just tell me that everything is alright... I can't sleep the third night..."

I want to tell all of this
Looking deep in your eyes
I am not waiting for a kiss
Just don't think that it's only lies

Try to belive me
Please, receive my words
It's hard to see
But old wound still hurts

Twice more pain for a tiny heart
Twice more tears had left apart
Twice more blood covered dark path

Twice more pain for a tiny heart
Twice more tears had left apart
Twice more blood covered dark path

Why to make suffer?
What have I done?
This pain will forever
Live in me, never gone

Wolf with kind eyes
But with wild nature
All sank in dirty lies
Last victim, so naive creature
Lost in her own paradise

Hiding the tears under the veil
I thought you couldn't see
But I was so much mistaken
Please, take my heart or kill me

I know just one truth -
You couldn't be cruel
Hope still to see you...

Sharp side of blade
Touched my skin
With blood my pain will fade
Too much was within
Love now left in shade

I'd never tell you that again
So don't worry
Let me suffer, give me more pain
For my words I feel so sorry

No more tears, 'cause they're all gone
Both are lost and forlorn
No more fears, they left me alone

You'd never seen
Those tears in my eyes
Never knew what I had within
All dreams are lost in tides
I wish you could feel

How can I trust you again?
If all my words were vain
So you are welcome, my old pain...

Thank you for all -
For pain, for tears, for twice broken heart
Yes, I know nothing of love
Fortunately I have you who show me right path
And thanks for one more rapped hope...

The stars and the moon

They're shining so bright

Crying a lot this night

Oh, I was such a fool

Dreaming of that

I never had, never betrayed

Thinking of all I said

If only something had changed

I've cried of that I never had

Tears still falling down

I cannot turn back the time

Soul is burning, don't let it die

Please, save me now

Crying of those moments

When I told you the truth

Oh how I was thoughtless

But still the one who can move

All my tears away with all sad days

I know that it's you, only you

I beg you for only one thing

Make me not feel the pain

Let me dream again

'cause then my nightmare will begin

Tears, they left here

My heart, now it's made of stone

My love lies in you, dear

I've been waiting for so long

And now I still swear

To you I belong...

The Lake

Through the night my wish flew

I want to say that I long for you

But the heart will keep a secret 

Soul has to let it go, to forget

I wish to turn back

Just come to the lake 

The surplus or the lack

That tear wasn't fake

I need you, come back!

You are my deepest sacrifice

Forever my secret passion and sin

I've sunk in the sea of your eyes

Forever my love will live within

Take me away from cold lies

Through sweet memory

Dreaming, thinking, loving

From the mountain to the sea

Waiting, longing, hoping

Show me who you used to be

I wished forever be who I am -

Little shy girl writing feel in a poem

Oh God, is that what I wished?

Our dark game isn't yet finished

Through dearest dreams 

My silent whisper flew

About the love and my fears

That I told to you

Move away all these tears

Sleepless night

I can't sleep now

But it is so late

Still think about

Those words I said

For so many times

I've described you my dream

That lies in your eyes

But I can't say the feeling

Being with you is my paradise

This verse is only beginning

Take my soul high

Dream me through

This deep starlit sky

Dear, I feel for you

For so many times

I've described you my dream

That lies in your eyes

But I can't say the feeling

Being with you is my paradise

This verse is only beginning

Now it's our time - 

This holy midnight

One step over the line

I'm here, sweetheart

For so many times

I've described you my dream

That lies in your eyes

But I can't say the feeling

Being with you is my paradise

This verse is only beginning

I know every your move,

Could heal every your scar

Just take me through,

Bring me to the Northern star

I want to believe

You want the same

Please, don't leave

And don't blame

Me for I'm in love with....

For so many times

I've described you my dream

That lies in your eyes

But I can't say the feeling

Being with you is my paradise

This verse is only beginning

For you..

Thoughts still keep on teasing me

Just can't fall asleep 

For almost a year I've been trying to see

Why the song makes me weep

Star fell and the wish came true

The ocean of dreams, so deep and pure

Forever you are everything to me

You know this and keep within

Feel is rising more and more

It's  stronger than it was before

Oh, dear, I feel for you

I want to ask, but will you do..?

I just don't know if

I may ask for a favour

But the soul can't live

Without its saviour

Oh, please, I need to see

The shine of your eyes,

To feel that you're a part of me...

One cry will take all lies..

First meet...

Let me tell you a story
Just listen to it
It's so important for me
But so hard to forget

Let me say this time
I know this is strange
But that is a choice of mine
My soul longs for revenge
I beg for one - just cross the line

I spell your name in every dream
Still keep all words within
I pray for this meet
Just let me feel

Let me say this time
I know this is strange
But that is a choice of mine
My soul longs for revenge
I beg for one - just cross the line

I am your flame
Your deepest dream
Just spell my name
And you will feel

Let me say this time
I know this is strange
But that is a choice of mine
My soul longs for revenge
I beg for one - just cross the line

Being your deepest sin
Or holy dream
I know your every wish
And feel your eternal bliss

Let me say this time
I know this is strange
But that is a choice of mine
My soul longs for revenge
I beg for one - just cross the line

Torture of love

Little girl, just in love
She wished to see one more
Just one more new dawn
Wind, make me be gone...

Your words I heard like in a dream
They were dwelling in me, so deep in
I beg you, don't torment me

Little girl, oh was she too naive?
But still the touch make me believe
Those sacramental words were true
That's why I'm still following you

Your words I heard like in a dream
They were dwelling in me, so deep in
I beg you, don't torment me

Your name lies under the same star
Oh, now I know who you are
The dream reminds me of you
All feelings seem to be true

One your touch awakens me
Forever making the sweet memory
You are the one who makes me have faith in
The dawn, pure love and true feel

Your words I heard like in a dream
They were dwelling in me, so deep in
I beg you, don't torment me

I fall asleep whispering your name
Still don't know is it stupid or shame
But the heart is full of love and hope
All truth lies in one pure teardrop

Maths test.. IS DONE!!!!

Yeah!!! YEAHH!!!! It's done!

Finally the worst nightmare left behind! Woo-Hoo!

The test was pretty easy.. well, I thought it would be worse, but it wasn't ... Haha.. ^^

I did my best and the result will be in two weeks. Hope it will be quite normal :)

Fear to tell the truth..

I'm trying to understand why
Every second I dream of you
Just why I wish to be a tear in your eye
Your silent words are my eternal lure

I wish I could say that to you
Oh, but I'm just too shy
I'm afraid I'd loose you
You don't see bitter tear in my eye
Oh, how could I tell that I love you?

The feeling of fear and longing
Getting of more and more
With your silent calling
I'll be near forevermore
Just take away this pain of howling

My deepest fear took me
If only I could get why
It seems so to be
I pray for one more try

Call my name through this night
And dream me back to the holy light
Show me this last flight

Hear my voice crying for you
The only word - just a name
Still that "I love you"
Is my deepest shame

You mean too much to me
Now I know how it's hard -
To breathe, to live, to feel
From this moment my heart
Is opened for you, you see..
Don't break it, my love...

Maths test...

Oh my God... tomorrow is the test I was afraid more than other tests... 

I am still afraid of it.. oh I wish it would finish ...

Just save me!

Wonderland

Silent wood, mysterious place
Whispering stars, call of those days
Take me to this land
Give me your hand

I want to come back!
Place, take me back...

Is this a dream or it's real?
If it's a fantasy why then
I have this deep wound to heal?
You are near till end

I want to come back!
Please, take me back

Awake me with a kiss, dream me here
Show me this unreal world
Of magic, memory of this realm is so dear
Let pass that was murdered

Take me there again
Bring me home, my dream

I want to turn back
Just dream me back

Fly to me and take to your land
Show me the magic kingdom once more
I want to turn back, give me a hand
Deep memory would never be gone
Of white snow, of blue lake, of hot sand
Make me turn back once more!

I want to turn back
Just give me a hand

The real of fairy-tales
Our mysterious place
Where all wishes come true
All dreams of me and you

Let's fly to the land of freedom
To the place where day is night
It's time to turn back to our kingdom
Where cold is hot and darkness is light
Dream me to the days of deepest wisdom
Spread wings and let your soul take the flight

I want to go back
To the Wonderland
Give me your hand

The realm of fairy-tales
Our mysterious place
Where all wishes come true
All dreams of me and you

Maths day...(preparing for the test)

Hi! 

I am trying to study maths, but it bothers me so I'm here :)

4 days left till the test and when I pass it I'll be free ^_^. Almost free... then, 23rd June I'll have one more test - Physics, but I don't even need to prepare for it, 'cause it wouldn't help me :D 

So why do I have to waste my time for it? ;) 

So the preparation for test looks like that:

- first of all, to take a book "Preparation for maths test 2010";

- second, to turn on the music (almost always it's Within Temptation, Nightwish, Tarja or another good band whose lyrics I know by heart :D );

- third, hmm... maybe to write down some formulas 'cause "I'm trying to study that stuff!!!" 

- forth, let's turn to the second one. Why exactly these bands? Okay, when I "prepare for the tests" i always sing something. So that's why I'd like listen then those songs which lyrics I know well ;)

So this is my "best course of the preparation for the tests" ;)

Have a great day! ;) 

 

YouTube ;)

Now I have a profile there, on YouTube. Here I've posted some video from my last schoolday. 

It's in Russian, but still ... ;)

Hope you'll like it!

http://www.youtube.com/user/katariina0610

Hyvää yötä ja nuku hyvin.

Good night...

Good night, sleep well, dear
I wish you'd see a sweet dream
Without a pain, without deep fear
Save beauty within

Sleep well, my dear
Sleep well, my love

I wish you good night
My angel, sleep tight
Sleep well, my dearlie beloved

See the silent night world
Full of dreams and the light of the star
Left nothing to be learnt
Lead me through the woods to your heart

Sleep well, my angel
Sleep well, my love

I wish you good night
My dear, sleep tight
Sleep well, my dearlie beloved

Through the starlit sky
Brought us this night
Hearts are flying so high
Shining brighter than moonlight

Sleep well, my darling
Sleep well, my dear

I wish you good night
My love, sleep tight
Sleep well, my dearlie beloved

Through your dreams I bear
This memory about the first meet
We both remember this, dear
I still care about your dream

Sleep well, my dear
Sleep well, my love

I wish you good night
My angel, sleep tight
Sleep well, my dearlie beloved

I wish you good night...

One kiss

Hey sweetie, I'm waiting
Waiting for you
And you know what's the feeling
So just do...

Oh, you know, darling
That I wanna be with you
I long not for dark lying
But for sweet kiss of you

[Chorus:]

My dream lies on you now
No way to go, oh
Just no way to run
My dream lies on you
Dark thoughts I knew
Now my dream lies on you

Take me now (I'm ready now)
Come closer (step by step)
Take me now (I still wanna you)
Love is now sweeter than that I've kept
Kiss me, I long for you

[Chorus:]

My dream lies on you now
No way to go, oh
Just no way to run
My dream lies on you
Dark thoughts I knew
Now my dream lies on you

Dark night, that time
I told that I love you
Oh, I wish that was a lie
But no, that's holy true

[Chorus:]

My dream lies on you now
No way to go, oh
Just no way to run
My dream lies on you
Dark thoughts I knew
Now my dream lies on you

Take me now, I'm all yours
My heart still a bit hurts
Your love now burns

[Chorus:] x2

My dream lies on you now
No way to go, oh
Just no way to run
My dream lies on you
Dark thoughts I knew
Now my dream lies on you

Escaping Away

Oh, sweet night, come

Darkness will help me

To escape from all

Of that my heart makes bleed

Let me escape

Hide me now

Escape, run away

Move the pain

It kills, hurts, eats me from inside

Oh, just let me be yours for this night

Take me now

Hold tight never letting me go

Stars keep the secret 

Of two loving hearts

Love will never be dead

That one which crossed our paths

Escape, run away

Move the pain

Don't turn away

Lead me astray

My light of life

Who makes me survive

Don't break this will

Let it be, this pain within

It will fade, you'll see

Escape, run away

Move the pain

It kills, hurts, eats me from inside

Oh, just let me be yours for this night

Take me now

Hold tight never letting me go

Escape, run away

Move the pain

Don't turn away

Lead me astray

My light of life

Who makes me survive

Just don't let me fall.. 

This Is The End

Forget it all - it's the end

One more wish won't be returned

Back to that cursed land

Another dreamer will be burnt

Again old sin reminds of pain

Deep feeling of shame 

Black memory had faded away

With last calling of name

Remember one and only truth -

I always win, always win!

None had ever needed you

Being your only dream

Still wasn't ashamed because of you

Eternal your scream

Hissing "I'll destroy you"

I always win, just always win!

Never being a part of this world

I wished to fly away

Having no heart to be hurt

Being too wild to obey

Try to get

This is the end!

Remember one and only truth -

I always win, always win!

None had ever needed you

Being your only dream

Still wasn't ashamed because of you

Eternal your scream

Hissing "I'll destroy you"

I always win, just always win!

You should blame only you

For you've lost all you'd never had

Now I just hate you!

This is the end

Remember one and only truth -

I always win, always win!

None had ever needed you

Being your only dream

Still wasn't ashamed because of you

Eternal your scream

Hissing "I'll destroy you"

I always win, just always win!

Try to forget all that you'd dreamt

You mind is dead

And soul is bunt

There is nothing to hurt

Remember one and only truth -

I always win, always win!

None had ever needed you

Being your only dream

Still wasn't ashamed because of you

Eternal your scream

Hissing "I'll destroy you"

I always win, just always win!

 

"Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead man's chest" morning ^^

 Maybe everyone knows this great movie, so no comments ;)

Just the favourite film! I've seen it million of times but it still doesn't bother me :D 

Today it's the second part of trilogy, tomorrow it'll be maybe the third one... still don't know, 'cause tomorrow is Saturday and it's usually hanging-around-day or shopping! :)

So .. enjoying this sunny morning in front of the computer ^_^

 

"The ending is the most important part of the story. This one is very good. This one is perfect."

Yesterday I watched my favourite film - Secret Window. 

Oh, maybe this is one of some films that I can watch again and again... and it doesn't bother me!

Great film and brilliant play of actors, especially Johnny, of course. :)

Well, first time I watched it when I was alone at home and it was a bit scary. But yesterday I was with my friends so it was awesome! Like a little silent party with a movie and cookies ;)

Great evening was yesterday!

Also I had passed my first entering test (Ukrainian language and literature)... Thanks God it was not hard like I thought.. huh.. :)

Next one (English) takes place on 7th June.